Last Time with the Negative...

Ok--this is the last time that I'm going to post anything about the negative stuff with my Yahoo groups.

The purpose of joining these groups is to be supported by other people who are going through the adoption process. These people understand your ups and downs with the entire process and with the China program going into record breaking wait times for a referral it can get kinda crazy.

These groups make you laugh, cry and feel good about the whole process. You all know how I feel about the swaps that we've been involved with and I like to think that I mostly have a pretty good outlook and attitude of things but sometimes there are days that just aren't good and I can only imagine that the closer we get to referral the harder it's going to be.

This week a group member posted about her fears with the wait increasing and I responded to her in kind--I hope I showed some support that she wasn’t alone in her thoughts and other people felt the same way. She felt better knowing that she wasn't the only one with these doubts.

One thing led to another with the group moderator and she pretty much told all if us that the group is "meant to be a positive place for people to chat, share ideas and generally have a place to get away from the reality of the world" and that she didn't want to see any negative things posted and if we didn't like it we should leave the group.

Now I know that people don't want to read constant negatives--but come on--it's the reality of this adoption. Nobody wants to be negative, but it happens every now and again--you get reassurance from your group and you move on--that I think, is the purpose of a support group.

Well guess what...I left the group! But, not before I e-mailed back my displeasure. I mean, you join a group to talk about the issues, your hopes and your fears. Then you get told not to say anything negative!! What kind of support is that!

It's unfortunate really. I met some very nice people on that group and we swapped the squares. Hopefully, they will join a couple of the other groups that I'm involved in so we can keep in touch and updated on our progress.

I just can't belong to a support group that doesn't want to give you support when you truly need it.

That's all I have to say about that.