The Three Amigos

We had a sleep over at aunties house tonight--boy what a night. We have Devin 7 soon to be 8 my great nephew, Alexander 6 who is my nephew who is great and Kyle 5 also my great nephew. Can you believe that I'm a GREAT AUNTIE!! I'm way to young for that--my baby girl is going to grow up closely with her cousins.



My goodness!! It was like a cyclone came blowing through the house--I have cloths, sneakers and all kinds of babies (stuffed animals) all over the place!

Thank goodness we will be starting out with only 1 little girl!! For now I have my fat fuzzy little girls to show off.

It's funny--the first thing the boys ask when they come over is "what's for breakfast" We always have pancakes, scrambled eggs, maple sausage and bacon!! What a feast! We will finally be getting ready for bed soon--they are sleeping on an air mattress in the empty babies room tonight--it's like camping out.

I know I'm going to need a rest after they leave and finally put my house in order--but they are the best fun!!

Last Time with the Negative...

Ok--this is the last time that I'm going to post anything about the negative stuff with my Yahoo groups.

The purpose of joining these groups is to be supported by other people who are going through the adoption process. These people understand your ups and downs with the entire process and with the China program going into record breaking wait times for a referral it can get kinda crazy.

These groups make you laugh, cry and feel good about the whole process. You all know how I feel about the swaps that we've been involved with and I like to think that I mostly have a pretty good outlook and attitude of things but sometimes there are days that just aren't good and I can only imagine that the closer we get to referral the harder it's going to be.

This week a group member posted about her fears with the wait increasing and I responded to her in kind--I hope I showed some support that she wasn’t alone in her thoughts and other people felt the same way. She felt better knowing that she wasn't the only one with these doubts.

One thing led to another with the group moderator and she pretty much told all if us that the group is "meant to be a positive place for people to chat, share ideas and generally have a place to get away from the reality of the world" and that she didn't want to see any negative things posted and if we didn't like it we should leave the group.

Now I know that people don't want to read constant negatives--but come on--it's the reality of this adoption. Nobody wants to be negative, but it happens every now and again--you get reassurance from your group and you move on--that I think, is the purpose of a support group.

Well guess what...I left the group! But, not before I e-mailed back my displeasure. I mean, you join a group to talk about the issues, your hopes and your fears. Then you get told not to say anything negative!! What kind of support is that!

It's unfortunate really. I met some very nice people on that group and we swapped the squares. Hopefully, they will join a couple of the other groups that I'm involved in so we can keep in touch and updated on our progress.

I just can't belong to a support group that doesn't want to give you support when you truly need it.

That's all I have to say about that.

THANK YOU!!

I just wanted to send out a BIG THANK YOU to everyone for your support. Since my last post we’ve gotten a ton of prayers sent our way and you know that every little bit helps and it means so much to know that we have all this love and support coming our way.

Thanks again!

News on the Wait...

Today has turned into a bad wait day. I really have been staying positive but I guess it's bound to happen that you have a bad wait day.

I've been reading more stuff from the RQ (Rumor Queen) and it sounds like the CCAA is trying to get these children with families as quickly as they can. They currently have a backlog of approximately 30,000 dossiers--they received 10,000 dossiers from January 2007 - May 2007 alone, and they are referring between 600 - 700 children per month which translates into about 5-6 days worth of dossiers. The CCAA is hoping to pick up the referral process to 15 days per month by 2008.

From what I've been reading and I don't know how true it is--the SWI (Social Welfare Institutes) do not consider the fee they receive as substantial and they feel that the paperwork involved is very cumbersome. The CCAA doesn't agree and they have also said that domestic adoptions are up in China which is a great thing, but there are still plenty of babies that need homes.

So I guess I need to stop panicking when I read something--maybe I'll walk away from the web site for a while (yeah right!) still look at options, but keep an open mind for my girl to come home soon.

Waiting...

Well! We are officially four months into the wait. When we started this process back in August 2006 the wait was 8 months. When our paperwork was submitted to China the wait was 15-17 months. Today our adoption agency has shown an increase in the wait to be 18-24 months and one of the rumor sites that I look at is saying that the wait will be three years before it gets any better.

What to do...what to do...

I'm so torn at this point. I truly feel that our daughter is in China and I hope that the wait will still only be 15-18 months--that I can deal with--I can live with 15-18 months. That would give us a referral this time next year.

I'm having a real hard time thinking about a two or three year wait to see our daughter.

So...what are the options...

1. Our adoption agency has opened up their guidelines--if you are currently submitted with the China program you can enter into a second program (that was not allowed when we started this adoption process). Then which ever country comes up with a referral fist is the country we adopt our child from and the other country's application is withdrawn once we accept the referral.

Now let’s look at the other countries--my second and third choice is Kazakhstan or Russia.

Kazakhstan requires that both parents travel for three weeks--there is no way Michael can be gone for three weeks and BOTH parents must travel. Then you leave for 30 days and have to travel back for another week.

Russia requires the same travel, BUT none of the adoption agencies in the USA have been reaccredited to work with Russia--they are taking application, but they don't know if or when you can travel.

We are too old for most other countries or have issues with some minor violations with the law from high school days--so these other countries will not even consider us.

2. We can get a private lawyer. In the United States you basically have to sell yourself to the birth mother--she will pick who will raise her child from a large list and "biographies" of these possible parents.

We initially didn't want this because of a few factors-:

1. The birth mother can change her mind after the baby is born and you as the adoptive parent have no recourse and all the money and time that you invested are gone--you have to start all over.

2. The wait to be picked can be between three and five years and

3. I just don't like the fact that we have to sell ourselves as good parents--we have already completed a home study and they pretty much ask us about everything you can possible imagine! And who knows what is going to sell you to the birth mother--it could be that you played sports when you were in school or maybe she didn't like your look--you just never know.

Sometimes you can get lucky and be picked right away like our friends Don and Sandee--but that is no guarantee.

I have thought about nothing but our daughter for almost one year now--she is so real to me--on the one hand I feel like I'm betraying her by considering other options and then on the other hand I feel that by the time we get our daughter I'm going to be 46 years old--Do I want to wait that long.

Michael and I have some serious soul searching to do. Keep us in your prayers.

Negative People in the Yahoo Groups

Michael and I have had a heck of a couple of years. We came to the decision to adopt our child from China and it will be one year in August since we started this process.

I have found a couple of Yahoo groups that I joined to help pass the time and it's nice to be able to talk to people that are going through the same emotions that you are and truly understand--we love our family and friends to pieces, but they just can't understand completely what we feel.

We have joined swaps with people in our group--the post card swap and the One Hundred Good Wish Quilt swap and we even joined the secret buddy swap--what a great distraction to help with the long wait that we have ahead of us.

On our groups we post our web sites which you’re reading now and it's nice to get to know these other people in our group, who knows, we may meet up when we travel to China.

Now--I guess that I just can't understand WHY if you think our groups are foolish or to quote "Stupid People" why are you still involved? Get out--Leave--don't participate--no one is holding a gun to your head!!!

People deal with things in different ways and I truly find it offensive that you still participate in our group and then do nothing but trash us on your blogs--go somewhere else!

I was so offended to read that because I belong to a yahoo group that I'm STUPID, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ISSUES MY CHILD MAY HAVE WHEN SHE COMES HOME AND THAT I HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE A PARENT!

HOW DARE YOU!!

We choose to participate in these groups as a distraction and for support when we need it. Obviously, you don't care to participate--why are you still involved???

I feel that we all have opinions and yes they should be heard but when it is all just negative I don’t understand why you continue—is it for your entertainment? Does this make you feel better than the other parents? What?!?!

The Great Tomato Plants and "Stuff"

It's Saturday and a beautiful day, probably around 60-65 today. A great day for gardening.

I planted a ton of tomatoes today--I had six tomato plants of the large variety and two cherry tomatoes already in the ground and I got ton of home grown tomato plants from our good friends the Cerundolo's which I finally got into the ground today--be on the lookout for the great tomato explosion!! We are going to have a ton!! The Cerundolo's also gave me Basil, Arugula (I know that I spelled this wrong!) and something else--I’m not sure what it is--I'll have to wait and see what come of it.

The Basil is doing great--the Arugula (sp) didn't survive, and the unidentified plant is going great. I think that I waited to long to plant everything and that is why I lost it.

Two years ago I tried my hand at canning my tomatoes for gravy. My good friend Michael C told me just what I had to do. I had a few jars explode on me down in the basement and I wasn't sure what I did wrong. Well, Mama Dolo (Michael C's mother) told me the trick! You need to boil a medium potato in the pot when you are boiling the jars of tomatoes. When the potatoes are done so are the tomatoes. Apparently I undercooked them and that is why they exploded. I'll be ready this year.

I've been thinking about our girl a lot today. Am I still going to be able to spend an entire day in the garden when she comes home--probably not. I need to get into the routine of being out in the veggie garden so that it becomes second nature and we will have a lot of fresh veggies for Daddy and Daughter. I don't eat them--I should but I don't. I'm sure that Michael will be thrilled--he doesn't eat enough veggies since we got married--I just don't think to make them and if I do think about it I just don't know how to prepare them so that they are not the same old boring veggies. I need to work on this--and yes--Michael will be thrilled with that too.

I'm relaxing now and just doing "stuff" around the house--boy is this all going to change when she comes home.

I've been reading a lot of stories of families who are getting their notice to travel to China to get their children--it's all very bitter sweet. On the one hand you are very happy for the families and excited for the children to have a loving family and then on the other hand you realize that we still have a minimum for one possibly two years of a wait before we can share this exciting news with the world.

I guess that is why they call it the adoption rollercoaster.

Well it's time to go--we are off to church to say a little prayer.

Thank You Secret Buddy!!

We want to send a big THANK YOU to our Secret Buddy!!!

Michael and I belong to a yahoo group called the January Jiaozi (January Dumplings) and we are involved in a secret buddy swap which started in April and will continue up until the time of our referral from China.

Basically, a bunch of our fellow group members from all over the world signed up to participate. We have been assigned a buddy from our group moderator and we will keep this buddy for the life of the swap. We send a gift(s) each month to our secret buddy and it's a ton of fun--you never know what is going to be waiting for you when you get home--what a great way to pass the time before referral and it is so much fun to do the shopping!!

I came home today to find a large squished package on my doorstep--the good news is that nothing was broken!! You have to love the USPS--it looked like they played kick ball with the box!

Here is what we recieved today--they are the cutestcritters that chain together and a note pad that goes on the refrigerator and some scrapbooking pens:

Here is a shot of the other gifts that we have recieved from our Secret Buddy--look at that Lady Bug purse--isn't it the cutest thing! I can so see our daughter with this hanging off her shoulder when we go shopping!! Too Cute!

We also recieved a flowered jumper with bloomers and a pack of seeds for the garden--Impatiens of all things--I had to laugh when I saw those--let's hope that the only impatiens are the flowers!! And we got some Tinkerbell Stickers.

WHAT A GREAT SECTRET BUDDY!! THANKS AGAIN!!

Squishes From Family and Friends 2:

Thanks to everyone who gave us a squish--you all did a great job!! I'm still expecting more to come in and I will be posting them as they come--so it won't be so many next time!!

Squishes From Family and Friends

FebruaryDTC2007 Squishes 3:

FebruaryDTC2007 Squishes 2:

FebruaryDTC2007 Squishes 1:

Here are the squishes I received so far from my online February Yahoo group:

January Jiaozi Squishes 6:

This is all of the Jan. Yahoo group of squishes that we recieved--I still have more due in from this group--didn't they do a great job!!

January Jiaozi Squishes 5:

January Jiaozi Squishes 4:

January Jiaozi Squishes 3:

Sorry--I can only post 5 pictures at one time--here are some more--aren't they cute!

January Jiaozi Squishes 2:

Here are 5 more:

January Jiaozi Squishes 1:

Here are some of the Squares + Wishes = Squishes.

These are from my JanuaryDCT 2007 Yahoo Group--this group has picked a name which is "January Jiaozi" which translates to January Dumplins.